Unfortunately, this is not always the best idea and often ends in painful breakups with someone who is not the one for her. Here is a snapshot of some of the best relationship advice for slowing down and stopping the heart-first leap into new relationships.
Adjustment Period for Healthy Relationships
Instead of jumping in heart first, slow down on the emotional connection and get to know the person. Because relationships are far more complex than new jobs, time is the primary factor in getting to know the new man in your life. Dating outdoors and covering your basic needs on both sides should be the priority. Learning about sexual preferences should not be a part of this adjustment period.
The following items should be a priority to evaluate and discuss in the beginning:
- Religious Views
- Spending Habits
- Education/Career goals and achievements
- Children: Does he have any, does he want to have any?
- Dreams: Mountains, the beach, travel? Does he match your lifestyle goals?
- Like and dislikes pertaining to the everyday things.
Of course, this list is NOT for the woman who is just looking for simple companionship or a fleeting connection. This is for the woman who is tired of the games and ready for a serious relationship.
Additionally, to make the points above effective, you should know how these discussion points reflect in your personal life. If you can’t answer these questions yourself, then this bit of healthy relationship advice may not be for you.
When to Promote the Relationship
The next step after finding that this man matches closely with your lifestyle and personal preferences is perhaps the most difficult. When do you promote him into your inner circle and into your life?
Going back to the job reference, you know good and well if a job is going to work for you. You know if you hate it and are staying there because you don’t have better options. You know if you love it and want to make a career of it. You definitely know if you are excited by the potential and like any driven woman, you’re ready to take your career to the next level.
This is exactly how you should approach a new relationship. AFTER determining that there is the potential for growth in the relationship, focus on how you compare physically. Unfortunately, we often do this in reverse.
Within moments of meeting a man, you decide based on the physical alone whether you have a future together. This initial reaction is natural. But, it’s a tragic way to approach Christian dating. Getting caught up in the physical and ignoring the adjustment period could have you missing out on the man who is made for you.
Don’t get me wrong, the emotional connection with a new man matters. The excitement level is important. Finally, the way he makes you feel is good indication of how well you will be together. Any relationship advice that encourages you to ignore this physical and emotional connection isn't realistic.
However, an exciting connection should not be the reason you throw yourself into loving this man with everything in your arsenal. You need to take it slow and date in the right order. Determine if there is a future, take to time to get to know him, then promote the relationship accordingly.
Every woman deserves to feel loved and appreciated. You can’t attain that by going off your emotions alone. You have to be willing to be reserved with your love until you can determine if this man is a good match for you. Give yourself to discover any warning signs that he isn't for you. And please, if by chance something comes up that makes you pause or stop in your tracks: Then have the strength to stand up and walk away.